22/10/12 Final

This may be final post in this blog.

So much has happened to me over this course of the year, some good and some not so good. At the end of it all I have broken and it will be a while before I can pick up all the pieces, it will be a while before I will be able to find myself again.

8/10/12 Happy?

What does it take to be happy? I know what it takes but it all seems so impossible right now. Back to pretending anything and everything is okay with this fake smile on my face. That, I know is something I am good at.

5/9/12 Dream

I woke up this morning with a vivid dream in my head. Somehow I had the ability to go back in time, however, I only used it to go back and fix all the mistakes that I made with Zoe but to no avail, the outcome ended up the same. There was nothing I could do. In the end she ended up with someone much more deserving than myself. Finally, I kissed her hand and wished her all the happiness in the world.  Whilst, I was tremendously sad that I had to let her go, more than anything, her happiness, her smile was all that was important to me.

Personally I find dreams to be the key to our most inner desires. Always I find that I am, just sitting there watching a dream play out, something like a movie. I have no control of my actions, what really only happens would be if I was in the same given situation. 

At the end of the day... I am still doing what I can, I would still give up everything that I know and everything that I have.

3/9/12 Fathers Day

And so... Happy Father's Day.

It was that time again, it was Fathers's Day. Like usual with any festive event, we had the family dinner and catch up with the family with the addition of a few new faces - Louis is here every other weekend, and Pam is our new homestay student (for how long, no idea). It was a nice night, I was glad to see what Peter (nephew) was up to, it sounds like he has got some big aspirations, he just finished high school last year and is working out what he wants to do. I was rather concerned before because I was beginning to think he was hanging out with the wrong crowd but I guess it was just a phase. Ali (niece) reached the Grand Final of her basketball comp, will have to ask how the game goes and finally Rodney (brother) is considering buying a place in the Geelong area, about time he got that sorted... tough to continuously pay rent.

Now back to Dad... I do worry about him, for instance today he felt like was going to fall while we did some yard work together. However, He is starting to ask for help now. Still has been rather frustrated as of late but asking for help. Also... his hands are 'slowly' getting better, still have doubts he will get back the what they were but as long as they get to a point where he manage better than he is now.

Night Lamp
"Sesame Street" Happy Birthday 

On a random note it was rather hard... but I got finally rid of my good old Night Lamp, been many years since I have actually used it but it always lit up my room since I was small. Unfortunately, there comes a time where you need to let things go. Bye Bye Night Lamp. 

28/8/12 Past

The past is the past, the present is the present and the future is the future. I made so many mistakes in the past and I have no doubt that I will continue to make them. I have been seriously thinking about my future and a future without you in it, is something I don't want. Like I said before, I know the right one is worth waiting for and... I will wait. A day doesn't go by that I am not thinking of you, whenever I get a phone message I always hope its you.

My present is simply, to make our future a reality, you are still and will always be my world. I just hope you still see a future of us together, that is what I am clinging to. No matter what it takes, no mater how long it takes. Time is irrelevant.