31/1/12 Unfit.. totally unfit

Heading down to martial journey to get some training done today... Just found out I am not as fit as I used to be. Will be a while till my body adapts back to the harsh training once again. Did two classes. One bbj class and damn I got smashed by a number of lower belts than me... It really put me in my place and I know I have a lot way to go before I get my technique and feeling back. Immediately after I did a black belt class, rather early for me to doing that but was a bit humbling to figure out how far I have to go to get back to the level I once was.

Conerning my Japan trip, I am wavering without a doubt. Finally got my forms back but I have second thoughts about handing them... Couple reasons why I am rather hesistant and now after talking to my sensei I am even more so. What am I going to do? I want to go but I don't want to go and unless I can clone myself I have to pick one or the other. Heck there's not even a guarantee that I am I going to get in even if I hand them in. I guess I could hand them in and think about ky options at a later date but then again that provides me with another dilemma.. to pay for the trip I must work, hut if I don't go I want to study. What to do. This is rather hard....

30/1/12 Its true

I was always worried when we started talking, everything seemed to good to be true. Some of the time I wondered if everything that was happening was simply my imagination, perhaps even a dream albeit a great dream. However, now I know... 100% without a doubt... you are wholly and completely real. I am still over the moon, can hardly contain myself. Stupid smiles all round. I am still shocked to have met someone like you, you think you are lucky? Nay, I am the lucky one. These coming weeks can't pass any sooner, that much I know.

29/1/12 About time

Where to start? Well I FINALLY got my remainder of my form signed. It has been a long time since I have wanted to get this form signed and its a little scary to know that my application will finally be complete. The thing is that... after all this time I am beginning to wonder if I really want to go now. Things have happened to make me really wonder if what I really should be doing is heading to Japan. Sure I have told everyone already and this doesn't concern me at the end of the day, the question I should be asking myself is that... Should I go?

It was Chinese New Year a couple days ago and I went to China town in Melbourne to check out a little bit of the festivities. Check out below for some of my snap shots... Don't judge me by the quality of the photos, all I had was my photo to take the photos (HTC Incredible S)

I took a 15 minute video of one of the performances... turned out to be 312 MB. So I will just throw the link below, if you are interested feel free to download it. No pressure though but I can assure you it is a great little clip and well worth the watch.

http://www.2shared.com/video/LNWlHRk4/VIDEO0003.html

That was the first part of my day,  second part of my day consisted of a family dinner. Was nice seeing the folks again... we only seem them once a month if we are lucky. Although I was really frustrated for a few reasons am not going to mention. Happy the day is over, tomorrow is a new day with the new challenges. Onward to tomorrow.

28/1/12 First day

First session back in a very long time, long time being a year and a half. Who knew it would have thought it would be so long. It was a nice feeling going back onto the mat for the first time. Like I had always done in the past I went in guns blazing and did everything I could to the best of my ability. So much for taking it easy eh? I paid the price at the 2nd half of the session. My leg, that is what. No, No, I didn't injure it again or anything for that matter but I just found out how weak it is. I have to strengthen it up. It just weak and had some slight discomfort when I was holding my stances at the later part of the lesson. In the end it was a good session, I had fun. The night finished with me rolling with my instructor for a good 2 hours.... surprised how much I had forgotten, lost a lost of technique - just played possum most of the time. Although I did land a nice choke and arm bar but my lack of training left me unable to finish them, at a loss as to how to increase my leverage. Back to the mats. So much for looking at Victorian Champs at the end of March. Need to do some

On another note, feel my relationship with Z has gone up leaps and bounds. A little afraid I dumped too much on her, I hope not though. Despite everything, no matter what I do, she is the only thing on my mind. Obsessive much? Comes back Feb 21st, I really can't wait.

27/2/23 Step 1

I am on my way Z. Hope you know that. You will find me and changed when we first meet. I sincernly hope I live up to any expections you have of me and don't disappoint - been rather good at that. Next week going to join the gym again and hit the weights. Might look into getting into swimming also.Tonight is my first training session oh how excited I am but... Z your the only thing on my mind at the moment. Hard to believe I have been waiting for this day for over a year but all I think about is you. Can't wait till you get back.