31/1/12 Unfit.. totally unfit

Heading down to martial journey to get some training done today... Just found out I am not as fit as I used to be. Will be a while till my body adapts back to the harsh training once again. Did two classes. One bbj class and damn I got smashed by a number of lower belts than me... It really put me in my place and I know I have a lot way to go before I get my technique and feeling back. Immediately after I did a black belt class, rather early for me to doing that but was a bit humbling to figure out how far I have to go to get back to the level I once was.

Conerning my Japan trip, I am wavering without a doubt. Finally got my forms back but I have second thoughts about handing them... Couple reasons why I am rather hesistant and now after talking to my sensei I am even more so. What am I going to do? I want to go but I don't want to go and unless I can clone myself I have to pick one or the other. Heck there's not even a guarantee that I am I going to get in even if I hand them in. I guess I could hand them in and think about ky options at a later date but then again that provides me with another dilemma.. to pay for the trip I must work, hut if I don't go I want to study. What to do. This is rather hard....

30/1/12 Its true

I was always worried when we started talking, everything seemed to good to be true. Some of the time I wondered if everything that was happening was simply my imagination, perhaps even a dream albeit a great dream. However, now I know... 100% without a doubt... you are wholly and completely real. I am still over the moon, can hardly contain myself. Stupid smiles all round. I am still shocked to have met someone like you, you think you are lucky? Nay, I am the lucky one. These coming weeks can't pass any sooner, that much I know.

29/1/12 About time

Where to start? Well I FINALLY got my remainder of my form signed. It has been a long time since I have wanted to get this form signed and its a little scary to know that my application will finally be complete. The thing is that... after all this time I am beginning to wonder if I really want to go now. Things have happened to make me really wonder if what I really should be doing is heading to Japan. Sure I have told everyone already and this doesn't concern me at the end of the day, the question I should be asking myself is that... Should I go?

It was Chinese New Year a couple days ago and I went to China town in Melbourne to check out a little bit of the festivities. Check out below for some of my snap shots... Don't judge me by the quality of the photos, all I had was my photo to take the photos (HTC Incredible S)

I took a 15 minute video of one of the performances... turned out to be 312 MB. So I will just throw the link below, if you are interested feel free to download it. No pressure though but I can assure you it is a great little clip and well worth the watch.

http://www.2shared.com/video/LNWlHRk4/VIDEO0003.html

That was the first part of my day,  second part of my day consisted of a family dinner. Was nice seeing the folks again... we only seem them once a month if we are lucky. Although I was really frustrated for a few reasons am not going to mention. Happy the day is over, tomorrow is a new day with the new challenges. Onward to tomorrow.

28/1/12 First day

First session back in a very long time, long time being a year and a half. Who knew it would have thought it would be so long. It was a nice feeling going back onto the mat for the first time. Like I had always done in the past I went in guns blazing and did everything I could to the best of my ability. So much for taking it easy eh? I paid the price at the 2nd half of the session. My leg, that is what. No, No, I didn't injure it again or anything for that matter but I just found out how weak it is. I have to strengthen it up. It just weak and had some slight discomfort when I was holding my stances at the later part of the lesson. In the end it was a good session, I had fun. The night finished with me rolling with my instructor for a good 2 hours.... surprised how much I had forgotten, lost a lost of technique - just played possum most of the time. Although I did land a nice choke and arm bar but my lack of training left me unable to finish them, at a loss as to how to increase my leverage. Back to the mats. So much for looking at Victorian Champs at the end of March. Need to do some

On another note, feel my relationship with Z has gone up leaps and bounds. A little afraid I dumped too much on her, I hope not though. Despite everything, no matter what I do, she is the only thing on my mind. Obsessive much? Comes back Feb 21st, I really can't wait.

27/2/23 Step 1

I am on my way Z. Hope you know that. You will find me and changed when we first meet. I sincernly hope I live up to any expections you have of me and don't disappoint - been rather good at that. Next week going to join the gym again and hit the weights. Might look into getting into swimming also.Tonight is my first training session oh how excited I am but... Z your the only thing on my mind at the moment. Hard to believe I have been waiting for this day for over a year but all I think about is you. Can't wait till you get back.

26/1/12 Interesting couple days

It doesn't take much for everything to change, perspective... thoughts... feelings. Very interested to see where everything is going to lead. Sigh, have to wait 1 month. End of February. Got some time to better myself and get my head on straight. Waiting eagerly in complete anticipation for everything to come.

Tomorrow I skipped out on work so I could go training in Point Cook. Time to see my family once more. Interested to see how much I have lost physically and in technique. I know I lost 4 kg in muscle and I am eager to put that back on.

25/1/12 How Hard?

Great news... my overseas application is still UNCOMPLETED. How hard is it to get 2 signatures? I swear its almost impossible. Seems like I can say bye bye to the whole study abroad in Japan. What a joke! Short post. Lengthy post tomorrow.

24/1/12 Responsibility

How very true. I know I am for sure. So many silly things I have done, so many things I haven't done really blows my mind. If I knew things would turn out this week and this would be what I was doing 10 years ago, I would slap myself so very hard. Seriously need to grow up and stop relying on other people to things for me, need to get my head on straight. The people around me won't be here forever and I need to acknowledge that one day I will be on my own.

I am a simpleton that needs to grow up.

"Just need to do the damn thing."

Honestly I thought I would be happier, got got my stitches out moments ago and I have been given the all clear to go back into training once more. It has been a little under 2 years that I haven't been training and to be allowed to go back now just seems a little unreal... Guess it hasn't sunken in just yet. Slight future concern though, due to the shock absorbers in my right leg being partially removed, it is probably that I will get arthritis at a earlier age than what I could have expected otherwise. With this in mind the surgeon did suggest I be weary of high impact activities.

High Impact Activity:
An activity or exercise in which both feet leave the ground simultaneously. Some examples of high impact exercises would include running, jumping jacks, jump rope. High-impact activities can help strengthen the bones and some can help you develop more endurance, power, agility and coordination.

Surgeon suggested that I get get into cycling and swimming. Funny I don't really like either. I will have to think about what I want to do from this point forward.

23/1/12 Long Day

Happy Chinese New Year!
Got to see a umm dragon or lion bless a shop. You know when the shop puts lettece and money in front of the shop and then the dragon/lion takes it shortly followed by fireworks? Well, it was my first time watching it... rather interesting. Chinese friends laughing at me for being so "white", never seen it before. I guess they have seen it countless times! Sorry I live under a rock... its comfy here. Might go to the city on Sunday to see the chinese festivities in China town.
What a day... not even sure when to begin.

Waking up at 10AM, I scored a win in League of Legends with my good old favourite - Irelia, the Will of the Blades. Still ages behind my mate Kenny... who knows how long it will take to ever catch up to him or whether I can. Only at about 1098 elo and hes at about 1238. Time to play my mains.

Brians big 22nd birthday bash today, really we only went to Galtatic Circus and played some M9 Laser Wars. Must say it wasn't as good as it was last time due to the sheer number of people and their primary joy of camping but in the end I guess I did have fun. Not seeing Brian and Kenny probably added to the night, been so long because of me really, all in all it was worth the late night. I must make a effort to see them more often. Sorry guys, been rather anti-social working for my pending Japan trip. Gosh, I would be devastated if they don't accept me now. Although... at the sometime I wonder if I really do want the trip as much as I wanted it last year... Too much on my mind.

Okay okay, I have been delaying again. Much more has happened. Don't even know how to really say it.

Just out with it I suppose.

I got asked by a girl today if I liked her. To be confronted with such a question is a bit daunting, not even sure if I answered it as well as I could have. I know you are gonig to read this post Prince and I hope you do understand where I am coming from. I have no intention to belittle what you feel for me, please don't take what I say that way. Honestly I do like you a little bit but for me to truly decide on a person it takes me a long time, not everyone is like this but I know I am. Finding out everything about a person doesn't happen over night. Reguardless I feel that we both think differently in what we want and why we want a relationship. I for one am already thinking about marriage (this may be due to my friend recently getting married), a long term relationship that will potentially lead to such a thing is what I truly want. It is worth nothing a couple years ago, such a thought never crossed my mind... I just wanted to be with who I liked and that was enough. We may only be 4 years different in age but these 4 years really are the biggest and most important 4 years of your life that really come to define you as a person. Maybe after this time you will see things the same way I do, only time will tell. I hope you understand  that I am can really only be a friend to you. A friend and a confidant, I will be there if you ever need to talk about anything or speak your mind.

Been a long day for so many reasons. Tomorrow will be long as work starts yet again.

On a brighter note, stitches are out and I should be back to training shortly. Will hit the gym again, lost about 4 kgs of muscle and been feeling weak.

22/1/12 Rest Day

I must say it has been a rather laid back day to say the least. No idea I would spend the whole day just lazing around. Guess I have been rather tired and sleep deprived after pulling 4 shifts in a row. I must say I am pleased to note that I spent some of today getting to know Z.... Been a little down since I haven't had a chance to talk to her as of late. I learnt a few things about her, I won't go into detail here as I feel its not right but I am rather hung up on her at the moment. Honestly looking forward to speaking to her again... Whilst only msn at the moment, I will ask for a meet up when we both feel more comfortable. I know I have a lot to work up, got to up my game. Been way too long since I have been in a relationship. I am really interested to ask if she is speaking to anyone else she met on the site.

On another note, stitches will come out on Tuesday after a meetup from the surgeon. Everything is looking good.

21/1/12 Has returned

Friend has returned from Germany after a 6 month working holiday. Bit of a welcome back BBQ today, should be interesting. I don't really know the crowd aside from their names. Looking forward to a social outing nonetheless.

Not much of an update from the Online Dating girl, going to call her Z from here on out.... Had a quick chat but really nothing of substance unless you count the generic Hi, How are you. Everything on her profile seems rather promising though.

20/1/12 Not my Best day

Had a rather interesting e-mail from someone yesterday. No easy way to say this but in the depth of my well, loneliness I made a profile on a online dating website. On talking terms with someone who made contact with me first, wonder how it all will turn out. Must say I am slightly scared and nervous at the same time. Mixed emotions.

Last night work was terrible. Made so many mistakes it wasn't funny but in the end everyone pulled through and we had plenty of time to spare in the end. I did learn a valuable lesson....

"Do not press the button, hold the button."

Going to bail on a friends 21st tonight. It is something I shouldn't do, but in the interest of saving and making money I have to. I will make sure I make it up to her.

18/1/12 2 signatures? No.

I went to the study abroad office like I mentioned and to my dismay I found out I couldn't get 2 simple signatures because he wasn't in.... Nor could I even see another course adviser because they were all fully booked due to the high school students booking all the course advisers out! It was extremely frustrating, here I am at the reception for my faculty trying to get 2 signatures to allow me to complete my application. Only 2! Appears it will be done tomorrow morning, how disappointing.

17/1/12 2nd Family

I went to see my second family today. That is of course the people I am grown up over the years at my Dojo, I started training with these people when I was 14 and now I am 21. Needless to say, but I am quite fond of them as they are me. It was simply great meeting up with them. It was a nice catch up for sure. I didn't get to speak with all of them as much as I would've liked but still I suspect I will have my deep meaningful conversations will everyone once I get back into the swing of things.

Stitches will come out next week on the 24th and I hope I will resume light training there after. Mind you this is after about a year and a half sitting on the side lines. I have lost part of myself over the past year or so and I can't wait to meet him again.

I know I meant to hand in my study aboard forms today but I left things too late, I will do it first thing tomorrow.

16/1/12 Back to Work.

This T-Shirt says it all.... Been one week from Monday from my operation and like I told work I would go back to work. Contrast to those around me, I feel my leg is just fine and I should have no issues with it. My iPod is set up with a lot of new tracks so I am sure the time will get fly past. Must say I am looking forward to getting a new paycheck that is for sure. My savings has dwinndled since the operation and with no money coming in the past week it has only dropped further. May have to get a second job if I want to make this trip to Japan a reality.

Speaking of which I got the 2nd set of subjects from Kansai Gaidai University approved. Will head to the study abbroad office and hand these forms in. Then I will be able to FINALLY say my Overseas Application is completed.

On another note... Spent a lot of today watching 'The Walking Dead'. Below is the trailer. Perhaps because I have loved the whole Resident Evil franchise since it came out, I am absolutly loving this series. Got the whole generic infection and world taken overrun by zombies thing going for it. I strongly recommend it. For those that don't know, I love http://www.imdb.com and this particular series got rated 8.7.... pretty much a must watch.

Season 1 Trailer

15/1/12 Accomplistment

 

Today started off with a bang. I set my alarm for 10 AM just in case I slept in but I the body decided to wake up at 7 AM, a pleasant surprise, guess the body knows what that I am wasting time and I should get started. Once I woke up I did a light upper body work out consisting of various pushups and lateral raises with 5/10kg dumbbell weights. It was tougher than I thought it would be... after a couple days it should get a little easier. Just trying to fill in the time before I start training again and gym again.

Leg is feeling a little bit tight but otherwise it is feeling rather good. Already been a week after surgery, and the recommended recovery time is roughly 2 week - 1 month.

The rest of the day was doing my washing and ironing it. Still a little new to doing it all myself but it feels good doing simple things like this myself... Got to learn to do it myself if I get accepted into Overseas study!

Onwards to tomorrow.

14/1/12 Let Down

I was looking forward to today. I had planned to have a computer lesson with my mum. Bit of background, I have put myself forward to give my mum some computer lessons to get her into this new age. Will help her with skype and I will most likely make her an e-mail as well. However, things happened and she bailed on me. A little disappointment, was looking forward to it a little bit but we may reschedule tomorrow, we will see.

13/1/12 Catching Up

All I seem to be writing is about is my inability to do things I set out to do for the day. Someday this is going to change but then again today is some day why can't it be today? Today is almost over that is why, but tomorrow is yet to begin and it promises so much.

Didn't get up to a whole lot today, went out for lunch with a friend of mine. As usual a bit of catch up followed. He is getting on good terms with this girl of his, took me a while to even wrangle a name from him, one of the quiet types. In any case I am rooting rooting for him.

Bit of good news to end the day. For those that don't know I am planning to head to Japan to study in the second half the year. However, right now I am waiting for my selected units to get approved. As I have to apply to two different universities, I have two sets of units to get approved which leads me to my news... Got Ryukoku University (Kyoto) units approved. Just waiting on Kansai Gaidai University (Osaka) now. Once all this fuss is dealt with, I can FINALLY say I completed my Overseas Application... then I can wait for a dreaded approval or rejection of said application.

12/1/12 Another Day

Nothing special to report today, another day wasted today. Spent a majority of the day on League of Legends. To think I had plans for the day, things to do. Alas, more and more excuses. Tomorrow promises to be more productive.

On a lighter note, my leg is finally feeling much better. The swelling has gone down quite a lot and now I am able to walk like a normal person, no need to pretend anymore. Looking at starting a light training program tomorrow for my leg. See how I am feeling tomorrow. Considering it was only minor surgery I hope to be in the swing of things relatively quickly. Might even head down to the dojo tomorrow, been missing those guys tremendously. Simply by being around those people, I feel like anything is possible and nothing is out of reach. Stark contrast to where I am now

11/1/12 Bandages are off.

I took off my outer bandages today. Definitely feel like I have more movement but look at that swelling! Be a while before all that goes down that is for sure. I can walk like a normal person but not really fast at this stage, should be much better tomorrow.

Family day was a little disappointing for reasons I won't mention but hopefully the next family day goes much better.

Today I feel like keeping it short, be in for a good lengthy post tomorrow.

10/1/12 Collect $400 when you pass GO

Was much shorter than I expected, I am already off crutches! Booyah. Although I didn't expect to be on them very long anyway as it was just a minor op. Will most likely return them tomorrow. I am still walking with a limp but I expect that to go tomorrow albeit it will be a while before I am able to run, just restricted to walking in the mean time.

Like I said in my previous post, my niece came over and is staying the night. Ended up breaking out the good old 'Simpsons' Monopoly set. Since it was only two of us, we ended up created some really cool house rules to keep it interesting. Time flew by, hard to believe we ended up playing roughly 4-5 hours all up... Sadly it ended in a draw, she didn't want to trade properties anymore and with in house rules... we only saw the game lasting hours, most likely only ending when we both broke the bank! Fun times. Might have to come up with another house rule to prevent it occurring again. Time to put on the thinking hat!

Tomorrow should be good, rather unexpected but we are in for a family dinner during the week.

9/1/12 All done

 Operation is done and now its time for recovering. Not too sure how long this whole process with take but I know I still have a long grueling road ahead of me. As mentioned in previous posts, one step after a time. Tomorrow I will start with the whole icing and exercises to get leg onto the road to recovery. I could keep on ranting on about my knee but heck I have said it too many times, even I am getting sick of it.

For those that know, I am going to revive ONE BLADE. In the past I attempted to a 30 day challenge, write 500 words (a single chapter) a day. It only lasted roughly 2 weeks but stopped because I felt that the story was lacking direction and I was slightly ashamed of my writing ability. However, with all this time on my hands, I want to put my writing hat back on.

Tomorrow, my niece is coming over to stay the night. Should be fun hanging out, but unfortunately I will have to go back on the whole basketball date due to my current knee state but I am sure we will find something to amuse ourselves with.

8/1/12 D-Day

 

Tomorrow is the big day, I am scheduled in at 8 am and looks like I will be back home at roughly 2 pm. Rather short period of time considering this very operation is keeping me from playing sport. It has been over a year since I have stopped and to be honest I think I have lost part of myself. I am looking forward to getting it back.

7/1/12 Congratulations

A big shout out to my Primary School friend Rufus.

Today... He... Got... Married.

Some may thing he is too young at 22 but I think not, he has his head screwed on right so to speak and I am overjoyed for him. It couldn't happen to a better bloke. His newly wed wife, Annie, is quite a catch. I have only met her once but she left an impression and no doubt in my mind that those two were meant to be together. I wish those two all the success and happiness for the rest of their lives.

Things like this make me think that I am standing still whilst others are moving forward. I know what I have to do and fair idea how to do it. Just need to get off my ass and do the DAMN THING. I need to more forward but as you know you can only do it one step at time. One day I wish my life may be blessed as his.

Forward march... Right, Left, Right....

6/1/12 Frustration

So frustrated. For no apparent reason my phone isn't working. Tried searching for hours on various forums and the OPTUS (my provider) website to no avail. Even tried ringing them up for tech support but nothing! Seems like I will have to go in myself for them to look at it. Going to have to keep it short today. I got my whole to-do list done yesterday. However, I have yet to write the card for my mates wedding I will get it done early tomorrow.

What a terrible weekend this is turning out to be. So very Sad.

5/1/12 Lazy Day

Today opened with the promise of so much, the idea of doing so much yet nothing. I didn't do anything I planned or set out to do. Deadlines are coming up, life doesn't stop for those that abuse it. Tomorrow I have to ensure I get everything done, there is so much to do yet so much little time. However, with this said why do we insist on wasting it? I just don't understand sometimes.

Tomorrows To-Do-List
- Try on Suit
- Get Suit dry cleaned
- Buy Gift Card for Friend Wedding
- Make sure all paperwork for Operation done

4/1/12 Empty Pockets

Today I got woken up by a call from the hospital saying I owe them $1793... or I will. For those that don't know I am had a ACL reconstruction done last year but seems I have to go back in for get some cartiliage fixed. This fee is the out of pocket expenses seeing as I don't have Private Health Insurance. Let me tell you, if I had it, I would have saved a lot of money. Honestly I don't need to get this operation done but to do what I want to do, be who I want to be I need to, there is no way around it... even if it is gonig to hurt my savings.

No doubt my Japan savings is going to take a hit, but hey its not for certain I am even gonig. I will deal with it all when it comes. When there is a will there is a way.

3/1/12 Barriers

I really wonder about my motivation levels sometimes. All the conviction and motivation I had a couple days ago has almost whittled down to nothing. I need to develop staying power that for sure, got to get the right people in my corner and take it one step at a time. The thing is, I know what needs to be done and I know how to do... I just need to do the DAMN thing. Anything worth doing was never meant to be easy, otherwise everyone would be doing it.

One step, One step.

2/1/12 Hot stuff

Bring on the heat! No, not really... This is too much already. What a stark contast from the Christmas weekend, we had hail the size of billard balls! It was a hot one today, I think they predicted 41 degrees or so. Not that I have checked, I wouldn't be surprised if it actually hit!

When I began to self study my Japanse I was surprised to find to out how much it had dropped since I stopped studying relgiously like I had been doing previously, that will change... like how I intend on posting 'every' single day of 2012 I intend on studying my Japanese every day also. I would love to get to the point where I can travel without any language barriers... Speaking of which I need to work out when I will be resuming my formal lessons again.

In terms of today, I haven't done much thus far. Studied a little more Japanese and grabbed a win in League of Legends and thankfully I have work later on tonight, tonight being 10 PM - 6 AM. Weather should be much cooler and its a public holiday... Got to love extra pay.

1/1/12 New Years

With New Years comes hand in hand with new years resolutions. I for one have made a couple that I will be trying desperately to keep. Without spelling out exactly what they are, they mainly revolve around becoming and trying to be the person I always seen myself as - who I envision myself to be. Never will I be content with what I am doing or what I am, I have to aspire for better. Too long have I been content with what I have and too long have I been content with the flow. Nothing with change. Despite popular belief, success is deliberate not a accidental happening. Only after putting hours and hours into what you pursue will you reap see the benefits, will you see what you sow.

This year will be the year that sets the tone for the rest of life, I will ensure I grasp all opportunities by both hands and do all I can to make the most of them.